You're still beautiful
by linanney27
Summary: Her tears were salty...her blood was bitter. She lost the will to live,but can a bunch of mental issued teens save her?


You're still beautiful

A/N:AU, my first Naruto fanfic, bear with me. The original plot had Sakura having lung cancer, but that being a sensitive topic and i honestly wouldn't like to offend anybody, let's just say it's an unknown condition.

, Miss Haruno?'

White. All she could see was white. White tiled floor, white boring walls, white coats everywhere. It was definitely scaring. She heard the doctor well enough, but didn't turn to face him,nor answer. It was useless anyway. She was not going to hide her pain, but she won't admit it either. She was aware of her condition ,but sometimes it's better to forget the stuff you know.

The doctor shifted in his seat and sighed. No response again.

,,You must cooperate. I'm sure there are people who care about you...like your family...People are different and not all mix well. They show their emotions differently, but you know they care. Even though you don't see it, that's why you're here. Don't hate people. Don't hate yourself for being one.''

Her family?If she had the strength to, she would've snorted at that. Lies. She liked to think she was lonely. No family. Yes,she didn't have a family. She won't ever call them family, the people who gave up on her at worst times.

,,You're a fighter. You've survived. You've survived awful treatments,i know you've had a hard time,but you survived to live. You fought and got through it. Look at you! You're here. You're here because you wanted to,and you could do so much more if you want. Why give up now?''

 _Why?At the age of 14,i got ill. Nobody knew what i had,nor could explain all the pain. I felt like my body was giving up and my lungs ached so bad. I had long coughs and chest pains. I couldn't breathe right,and sometimes i couldn't breathe at all. Then my parents changed completely and they started to treat me with so much coldness and neglected me. It hurt...it hurt a damn lot. And it still hurts. I was so confused and sad as to why they looked at me with hate,i bit my tongue so many times when i wished something,just so they won't complain about me being such a burden,spending money on all kinds of stuff. They blamed me for everything. Their financial problems...their fights...that i woke them up at 3am because i was in pain._

,,Not all people are ready to be parents. And for those who are not ready,they're overwhelmed and well,act different. I won't touch the subject about your family,but i know your aunt is right there in the hallway worrying for you. You love her,don't you?''

Aunt Tsunade..yes. The woman that was more than a mother. They weren't related,but with time,she became her only relative. At the age of 16,her ,parents' decided to end her home schooling,thinking it was a waste of money on her. She didn't have any friends. She went to school until she was 14,but then,after the news of her disease were spread throughout the school,the kids were too scared to come near her. Not even a phone call. No phone call from her best friend Ino. They used to be inseparable,but she changed when she found out Sakura's condition. With no more social contact,at 16 her state had gotten worse. She hated everything and in a fury attack,she got up and trashed her room.

That pissed off her parents. The first slap. Next,a kick to her abdomen. And then a fist to her head and they let her bloody on the floor ...Her tears were salty..her blood was bitter. She sat there alone all night...on the cold floor,and she just couldn't move. She couldn't,even if she wanted to. Her back was turned to the window,and when she felt the first sun rays on her back,she seriously felt like dying. The whole day,nobody came to see her. That evening,with all the strength she had she got up and went to the bathroom. She was disgusted with her reflection. Black hair from her mother...pale sickly skin,green eyes just like her father..she could see her bones clearly,and with a hand right where the lungs were,she clenched that part and dug her nails into her flesh,trying to stop the coughing fit she knew all too well. She sat in the bath tub,letting the ice cold water take her senses. She couldn't stay there anymore. She knew it. She thought about all her memories with her family..they never truly loved her. They were never ready to be parents. She always did her best ...in everything..at school,she was the smartest,and at art classes,she was the most creative child . She loved to paint. While she was alone in her room and couldn't move,she used to paint everything she could think of. She sat up painfully,now cleaned from all the blood,and changed into black clothes ,covering all her scars and agony she had experienced throughout time. Self-harming was sweet..it made her feel alive. And as much as she hated herself for doing it,she loved it. It was pitch black outside,no moon,no stars that night. And she ran. She ran away,jumped from the 1st story of her house through the window,jumped the fence,and sprinted down the street till her lungs burned and couldn't breath anymore. She sat on her knees on the cold concrete,trying to regain her breath. She was lonely again. No people were surrounding her,she felt free. But then she felt so tired,and was about to pass out..when a lady with nice pretty blonde hair patted her shoulder and asked her if she was fine. She blacked out and all she could remember was waking up in a nice bed with the pretty lady right next to her. Her name was Tsunade and it didn't take long to bond with her. They clicked. That's how she remained under her care. Tsunade sure wasn't expecting to meet an ill teenager running like hell on the street at 1 am. She was working at a hospital,and right then she was coming back from a long shift. Her doctor instincts kicked in,and helped the breathless teenager. She immediately felt her pain..emotional pain..and she decided to help her with all her will. Their relationship was amazing and pure,how family was supposed to feel like,something she had never experienced...trust. Sakura finally had a home,and ever since she met Tsunade,she felt lively again.

For her. She did it for her. One night,Sakura was in horrible pain..Tsunade thought she was going to die,and she couldn't do anything..she sat there crying while holding her hand. Sakura looked up to her face ,and slowly lifted her hand to brush off the tears. Sakura then closed her eyes and Tsunade yelled at her not to dare leave her..and she didn't. She did indeed fight. She was happy. But she couldn't help the guilt and helplessness and all that depression and darkness that started covering her soul. 17 suicide attempts. She was sorry,but just couldn't help it. She felt so tempted to do it...Even Tsunade wasn't spending much time with her nowadays. Tsunade had paid her fees and she could go to school,but there was no happiness anymore and she felt lonely again. She might have loved Tsunade,but now she was thinking that all she had done for her was from pity. Yes,nobody loved her,nobody.

She clenched her fist. The doctor,seeing something stirring inside of her,continued:

,,Let me help you,Sakura. I _am_ your doctor, _you_ _are_ my patient. It's my duty to do that''

,,No''

Doctor Kakashi looked her in the eyes.

,,Excuse me?''

,,You're just another somebody,i am nobody. Mind your own life''

,,I am here to help you''

,,Help is good when wanted.''

,,You don't know what you want''

,,I want to die. Help me with that''

He gulped but didn't say anything. He didn't know how to deal with her. She didn't open up,not even once.

She stood up from her seat. So much hate..and so much pain in her eyes,but an emotionless porcelain-like face. Now,at 17 years old,her hair was pink and long,a delinquent mark. She would've changed her eyes too,but that wasn't possible,so she just changed her hair color. She was still skinny. Tsunade pushed her to eat a lot,and she would,but later at night she would make herself vomit in shame. She looked like any other teenager,but she was fragile... with sharp edges...She was empty...

She still had breathing problems,but she learned well to hide her pain. She won't let anybody know how much it hurts. Not anymore.

She left towards the door.

,,Stop right there'' yelled Kakashi after her

She didn't stop and opened the door to leave.

,,Tsunade please come in'' said Kakashi. ,,You too,Sakura. Come back''

Brown chocolate eyes met emotionless emerald ones,and grabbing her hand ,Tsunade yanked Sakura back to face the medic.

,,Please behave yourself. How did it go,Kakashi?''

,,I'm sorry.'' Said Kakashi disappointed

,,Me too''

Sakura looked up between the two. What was that supposed to mean?

,,Sakura,we're sending you ...I don't know how to say it...''

Sakura widened her eyes. _..But why..It couldn't be.._


End file.
